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| I've started a regular blog over at Blogger. I don't know, it just felt weird to try and turn this blog into something about daily life when it was such a huge part of our journey during the darkest moments. This may seem weird but there's sort of a sacredness about Josiahupdates. I don't expect anyone to understand but... anyway... quick update...
Maria, Ben and I are doing awesome! We're growing as a family closer and closer to each other and to Christ each day. Of course, Josiah is never far from our hearts and minds and there's a sort of unique comfort in the pain that comes from living with a hole. But all in all... life really is a blessing and as trite and churchy as it sounds... God's faithfulness has carried us. Anyway... check out my daily blog by clicking the graphic below. I'd love for you to join the conversation and spread the word. Thank you.
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| Below is my journal entry from today. I don't usually do that but... Anyway... we're having a great time in Ireland. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you as well for those that remembered that Josiah's birthday was this past Monday. He turned 7. We miss him but we're doing well. Thanks for all your love and prayers.
True Desperation
This is the air I breathe...
Your Holy Presence living in Me
This is my daily bread...
Your very Word living in me...
I'm desperate for You
I'm lost without You
One year ago, I was on the verge of losing it all... I wasn't sure if we were going to make it... in life... in family... in the ministry God had allowed us to be a part of... I was on the verge of losing it all... Not to mention that mere months earlier I lost my best friend... my buddy... my son... my hero... my little Josiah... and I would walk around the block and this song takes me back to those days... not that I would even sing it but those were desperate times and I was a desperate man.
And now I was standing here in Southport, England in worship and singing this song and I realized that I am more desperate today than I was one year ago. Why? Because being desperate for God is an attitude of the heart not a circumstance or situation you find yourself in.
Yes... your circumstances and situational positions in life can cause a certain amount of desperation but it doesn't necessarily make you desperate for God. It can make you desperate for an answer... for a solutions... for relief... but not necessarily desperate for God.
And so... things in my life are awesome at this time. Our family is strong... we are each other's joy. Doors are being opened. God is moving things, shifting things, healing hearts and using us and yet even in these wonderful circumstances that God has brought us to...
I'm desperate for You. I'm lost without You. Why? Because it is an attitude of the heart. We need you Lord... you're so good to us. You've made the difference... you are the difference. You are a good God and we are your people. Our lives belong to you. We love you. | | |
| So yeah... thanks to anyone who still reads this thing even though the entries come sporadically at best.
Quick update... Our family is doing great and God's hand is revealed in so many ways in our lives. Maria and I had a great time in Ireland. It was such a good time of reflection and healing. The McCourts, Sayres, and Booths... such good friends took care of us and made us feel so welcome and God used them in our lives. We're actually headed back there next month with a group from CMC. We're taking Ben with us so that should be fun.
Conference in Phoenix last week was awesome as always. We were so blessed by the Josiah's Friend Kids Conference and all that Melanie Brewer and her group put into making that a reality. The stories coming from that have been so encouraging. I overheard somebody asking a parent if they were taking their child down to Josiah's Conference. It caught me funny that she would word it that way. He still owns this thing and is such a huge part and impact.
I miss him a lot... a lot.
I've been meditating on a passage of Scripture in Deuteronomy that can be applied across the spectrum of our lives. It certainly has helped me.
Deuteronomy 29:29 - The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed
belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the
words of this law.
There are a lot of things I don't get. A lot of things I don't get about us losing one of the two most precious things in our lives. I don't get it. I don't understand it and I don't have many answers. "The secret things belong to the Lord our God..." There are just some things in your walk and in your journey that you won't understand but at some point you have to leave all of that with God. Those things belong to him.
People get bitter and angry and in trouble when in their walk they attempt to tackle, take on, and clamor for the things that belong to God. When they dwell on those things and won't let them go. There are just some things that belong to God. I'm not saying that you can't ask God to reveal things to you... to help you understand. To ask with a pure heart is perfectly fine but the revealing is up to Him... not us.
"The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever..."
The secret things belong to God but what has been revealed in God's mercy and his grace and his patience. In his love and concern and healing in our family... That stuff belongs to us. It's ours and Ben's and in a very real sense... even Josiah's. Those things are ours. His calling on our lives... that belongs to us. Everything we've learned and experienced... that belongs to us and it's powerful. There are some things that belong to us that even cancer can't take away. We learned that from Josiah... we will not allow cancer to touch the part of us that belongs to God.
The thing about something belonging to you is that you own it. And if you own something... then you are responsible for it. It's not just a benefit... you are responsible for all of those things that God gives you and he'll give you the grace and wisdom to handle it all carefully so that the world can benefit from it.
Some things... you just need to leave with God. It's in his hands... don't mess with it or get bitter over it. Take the stuff that has been revealed and walk in it with grace and wisdom. That's how you build an awesome life.... awesome family... awesome calling.
Much love and God bless...
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| So, Maria and I are sitting in a Jersey airport about to head to Ireland for 8 days. We're coming up on one year and it'll be good for us to get away. What a year this has been. Ups and downs but through it all, God's hand and grace have been extended to us in new ways. We have our days and we miss Josiah incredibly but life and our family is great. Ben is getting so big and he's such a joy. God is opening doors for us and helping us like never before.
Just after Thanksgiving I had the opportunity to speak at the SoCal Youth Convention in San Diego. What a great group of young people... all 6000 of them. They are rockin' it out in SoCal. I spoke on the power of not giving up and I believe in Gal. 6:9-10 more than ever before. It's hard and we don't like it in the middle but the confidence and harvest that comes on the backend after paying the price is so worth it.
So, please pray for us. Pray for our trip. We'll be meeting with some church leaders about helping get a Master's going just outside of Dublin. We'll also be up in Derry on Sunday morning with our good friends, the McCourts. Everyone has been so generous and gracious in getting us over there and allowing us some time to reflect and just be. Thank you.
Thanks as well, for everyone who is even aware that we're coming up on a year and for all your prayers. Just knowing that people know what time of year it is for us means so much... you have no idea.
anyway... until next time... much love and God's blessings.
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| It's been so long since I last updated. Thank you to all of you who have continued to pray for our family. So many times, things like this are just a bump in the road for other people but for us... it's a rebuilding and a process of healing. And what a process it has been. God has been so good to us and we are a picture of a miracle. We've just been focusing on each other and allowing God to heal us... and he is. It's still tough and we definetely have our days, but I don't know if I ever want that to end. I think I'll always live with a bit of the pain and sting and I want it that way. I'm not going to try to explain it but I think you can at least imagine.
We miss Josiah greatly and quite honestly we are not looking forward to the next two months. It takes us back one year ago and those times were the hardest. We'll get through. God will use others and extend his grace. If there is anything that we've learned in the past two years, it's that God is active on our behalf even when we can see it or sense it. He never stops working... that's what Jesus said anyway.
Maria and Ben and I are doing incredible. We are enjoying each other more than ever and God is really helping us. My energy levels are up and God is renewing things in me that had to be put on hold. The cool thing is that they are even fresher than ever before and in a whole new... better perspective. Anyway... just wanted to let you know that we are still here and... God is truly with us.
Never ever give up because God is with you. It is just a season and he will carry you through. I can say that with the depth of a man who has been to the edge and back in more than one way... he's true. Don't throw in the towel. You're going to make it... and so are we.
On another note... I'm over at MySpace... myspace.com/brodta. I don't blog there at all but drop by and see me if you're on.
Also, we are launching CMC v3 Site this week. It's supposed to be up so keep checking www.clearwatermc.net. It rocks and there's a lot of interactive stuff as well as cool gear in the store.
Thanks for hanging in there with us. Much love. | | |
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